Shattering

People around me, dont understand
How it is exhausting to always pretend
That I dont care how my soul is heartless,
or worse, feel bad for me
I am not that open person,
I dont express my emotions to the world
Instead I internal breakdown
like an emotional bomb into devastated poems
and thats alright for me,
I break into small pieces, I shattered down the isle
Whenever I listen to a heartwarming songs
I might share too much, for the sake of attention
thats how I usually roll, just to fit in as "normal"
and whenever I put myself in a weird situation
I call out on the colorful dots (floaters)
To empower my mentally and physically pain
in order to explode in dimensions as you read
Hold that thought! You may call me crazy
I have been called worse,
People around me, dont understand me,
I am anxious just by existing,
I get over dramatic over sad ending movies
Like part of me would die, after crying too much
crying too much of tequila, yes non sense
But its all I have, my colorful dots, and cheers to that
I like them, they complete my lost voices
they sit between the edges of breaking down,
Where I lose control, especially when I am sober
No one understands me,
Even my body would shake shiver down my spine
and I would never know
the bruises that lived more than I remember
would shatter themselves to open and speak
but I would not notice, I do
But its how I roll,
Everyone understands me,
they would pick up signs to show me
my true self, but I would never digest the facts
Instead I would open my skull wide
and breathe everything that I own
to suffocate and shatter,
Its what I do the best
I shatter, and I love that about me,