I no longer crave to be in the middle

Date me or turn me down

I am too exhausted,

Stop stringing me along

Be brave, let me know

I am bored,

telling my friends

stories about you, about "us"

I dont want to look like an idiot

Calling you more than once a day

If you are not interested

in dating me, do me a favor

and reject me right away.

I mean, I am sick

of being stuck in the middle

I do not want to wonder

what we mean to each other.

I do not want our label

to be complicated.

I’m not interested in

interpreting mixed signals,

because half of the time,

I read them wrong.

So stop making gestures

that are somewhere

in between friendly and flirtatious

I don’t want to assume

you are crazy about me

when you secretly couldn’t

care less about me

And I don’t want to assume

you are out of my league

when you are secretly

attracted to me either.

Trust me,

getting rejected by you

is going to sting,

but it’s better than

finding out you are dating

someone different

three months from now.

Rip the bandage off

before it gets stuck

too tightly to my skin.

Stop me from falling for you

before my feelings grow

even stronger.

Respect me enough

to let me know

what you want from me.

I have anxiety but I am strong!

I live in a constant battle, with anxiety 
It does not mean I am weak
There would be days, 
I cant even move out of bed, 
but I force myself to
When my body listens
to the voice inside of me
I chose not to, instead 
I would claim to be deaf
The best part
of having an anxiety 
Is at parties, 
its when people think I
m shaking. But really, 
I am only shivering
I have anxiety and 
I am okay with it, 
Simple things distract me easily, 
Like the way people, 
look at me, when I stutter
or the way I get bully
But I refuse to 
let it control me, 
Instead I command me 
to be more positive
like a very motivational person, 
I am not! 
I have anxiety, 
but I am rolling with it, 
I push myself out 
of the comfort zone
time to time, its hard! 
To be on the edge 
On the edge of glory, 
but here I am trying
To be honest, 
I am in totally in love 
with my setbacks
Its the only reminder, 
to push me in a better zone
Lead me to the light, (sarcastically speaking) 
I have anxiety, and I love it! 
Its the only thing that makes me alive

To my new crush, this is for you

I always 
text you first, 
igniting space, 
is not my thing
I mean, 
I am not 
desperate
for your 
affection, me! No
I daily give 
you compliments, 
Dress nicely 
whenever we 
have supper
I shower you 
with “ I miss you”
messages
Though, 
you only send 
mixed signals!
But me pushing 
forward is my thing
I get super angry
when you cancel plans 
but still text 
you for tomorrow 
The honest part, 
I felt maybe you are
being anxious 
to get into a relationship
therefore I push 
for your attention, 
So, you would 
feel confident 
“ I am the one” 
for you 
But after 
too many years, 
I am getting 
exhausted
Chasing you 
around, is tiring 
Part me know, 
I will never be your girl 
No matter how 
effort I show 
So, starting from
tomorrow, yesterday
or tonight, 
I am giving 
up on you
I am done 
trying to 
impress you, 
stalk you on 
social media for 
the sake of fun
I can’t keep putting 
myself in agony
feeling “ falling in love”
Until you find
someone else
and if we ever 
are going 
to get together
It would be
in my writings, 
that’s what I 
know for sure, 
I will stop 
chasing you, 
But it would 
never mean
that I don’t want you.

Don’t fall in love with me, a Capricorn

Falling in love 
with a Capricorn
Will never make 
you feel ready
But you got 
to be strong,

If you ever fall 
in love with me, 
Make sure to 
keep fighting, 
because I invest 
in relationships 
more than 
my own health!
It may be 
the reason, 
why everyone left,

I have been 
hurt a lot, but 
I will never stop 
believing in love
that’s the gift 
I praise the most
If you ever fall 
in love with me, 
Then you are 
special
Lucky in a 
beautiful way 
I am limited editions, 
we all are

Guidelines, 
read them well
I will change you, 
Make you 
believe in yourself 
Heal your scars, 
so pretty
your past will no 
longer exist anymore
When you are okay, 
Then I will start 
to push you, 
make you go away
Come off on you, 
but trust me 
It’s when I 
need you the most
I also get 
jealous easily, 
I won’t 
question the trust, 
but the questions 
might eat me alive

If I ever made 
you feel sad
cry maybe 
I won’t 
forgive myself
or forget ever
I will stroke 
my throat 
Till pain 
comes pouring 
on my no 
longer chest

If I ever made you fall
in love with me
Be gentle with words, 
cause I am 
a unique edition 
I never forget lines 
that took 
my soul away
They will haunt 
me down 
like a monster 
under the bed

If I ever made 
you fall in love with me, 
Be ready or run 
Run!

You Emotionally Ruined Me

I silency sob, 
Banging my fists
Into the wall
Feeling completely
worthless,
" You are not 
good enough"
These words 
resonated
with me, 
like we are one
I am not 
hateing on you
Instead, 
thank you
It took me years, 
To realize, 
it wasnt me
I deserve better, 
Thankfully, 
I am not 
the same girl
crying
Your actions 
had no 
power on me, 
anymore
Thank you for
giving me 
negativity, 
That made 
me find myself 
For a while, 
I thought 
of giving 
my body 
brusies 
like a 
piece of art, 
But, 
your words 
sooner became 
an inspiration, 
I am a 
source of light 
I was 
drowning 
every single day 
Gladly, 
my hands 
saved me
It took me years
to finally have
my appetite back
gratefully, 
I was able to 
push anxiety away 
from my life
So, 
Instead of being
the crying girl
in my bedroom, 
I am the 
superhero 
I stopped 
crawling 
thinking, 
" I am worthless"
I finally 
have no breakdowns
I am healed!
Honestly, 
I am thankful 
You once, made me 
a monster, but now
I am a life force, 
The happiness kind
You emotionally 
ruined me
I hope you
the best, 
No, I dont 
regret you
Our experiences
together was my 
way to find me
Thank you

I adore you and you probably adore me too

I adore you and you probably adore me too.
................................... ................................... ...
I adore you, 
You probably 
adore me too
But we 
will never know 
because we 
would rather 
not talk about. 
We are captivated
Together 
with mixed signals

I adore you, 
You probably 
adore me too
But it is risky 
To open up, 
To someone, 
I personally, wouldnt
want to jeopard 
our friendship, for 
something unknown, 
Uncertain, unexplained
I already got hurt enough

I adore you, 
You probably 
adore me too
But, if you do 
There would be 
feelings, I would feel
I would be a priority 
Not like getting a text
randomly every week
Your mind would be 
getting drove crazy!

I adore you, 
You probably 
adore me too
perhaps, its only 
A thrill, a few affects
inspirations, and feelings
I adore you, 
But I need to stop
No, I dont want to
and maybe you 
adore me too, 
but that’s not enough