I have been Shot

I have been shot
Two and many times
At the back of my neck
Where the pressure kills
Where dolor spread it wings
and I
Would be just laying
On the floor acting dead
But I have got shot
How am I acting

I have been stabbed
Hundred and more times
Inside my inner chest
Where despondency made me quietSilent and I couldnt move
But how could I
I was stabbed
Two and many times

I have been kidnapped
Million and more times
Each time differently
One where I ran away, and
Thousands where I stood still
Wanting to be gone
But how would I be still
When I am kidnapped

I have been killed
Three and many times
Through my soul
Where I faked my own blood
Made me it crystal clear
But how could it be possible
When I got killed
How can someone fake
His own blood
After death or before death

I have been raped
Once when I was born
A kid, and a teen
and each and everyday
By words, guns, wars
By my parents, lovers and boys
By strangers, and myself
But how can someone
rape themselves,
I have been raped
Where I coloured my skin
In bruises to remind myself,
with pain and depression

I have been losing,
Losing my body
My mind
myself
Too and hundred and million of times
I have lost myself
In an art form
In a sculpture lesson
In a car crash
In the bottom
In everything
but myself

I have been shot
Tick, tick tock!