I am not for everyone!

I am not for everyone, there are poems that live inside of me that no one can handle they are like thunderstorms on a summery day.

I have a certain type of love deep in my veins that you will ooze the surface down, and you won't be able to stop it, you will be forever attached to the ache parts Circles with no stop you shall be tangled by the scars that lives in my skin.

No, I am not for everyone, my type of love, I have no control on,

It daily makes me scream from rooftops above the skies, and no it's not cool. I am different, the weird kind, the one who relates to the radio head- creep song on the radio. That's me, I am not for everyone.

For that, I hope when you see me in the streets you would turn left and leave, don't get attracted by the light around me.

I am not for everyone.

سأُحبكَ في الأيام التي اخترت ان لا تستقيظ

 سأُحبكَ في الأيام التي اخترت ان لا تستقيظ

عندما تكون غرفة نومك مسكونة بأفكار سلبية

حين تشعر وكأنك اصبحت أصم من لون السماء

و أعمي من لحن الموسيقى

سأُحبك فأنا سأكون صوتك الداخلي

الذي سيحفزك إلى الأمام

سأدعك تكون على طبيعتك بالكامل

أنا سأكون الضحكة على الطرف الآخر من الهاتف

أُخبرك عن ذكرى تشاركنا بها

سأكون يدك الثانية

اضع أصابعي على وجهك النحيل ببطء

ونصلي كشخص واحد

سأُحبك في الأيام الزرقاء

حين لا تريد أن تستمر

عندما تحدق في الجدار الفارغ

بلا مشاعر وصامت بلا أمل

عندما كل شيء حلمت به

يصبح خدشا على ورقة

سأُحبك

عندما تُهزم و عندما تتألم

سأُحبك سأكون كتفك و جسدا شافيا

فأنا أرفض أن أكون شخصا

صامت يتنفس بتجاهك

سأكون صوت عالً

سأُحبك

عندما لا تريد أن تحب نفسك

عندما تستيقظ عيوبك من جديد

عندما لم تعد تعرف من أنت

سأكون معك

سأشارك تلك الصور التي التقطناها على إنستغرام

في الليلة التي أعطيتني فيها علبة بطاطا مقلية

في الليلة التي قلت فيها "أحبك"

في الليلة وفي الليلة

التي تشاركنا فيها الذكريات معا

سأُحبك عندما تستلقي على السرير

و لا تستطيع ان تتحرك

سأمسك كلتا يديك

وسوف نثوب معاً

نعم ، سنفعل

سأُحبك حتى عندما يذهب الجميع

سأُحبك

حتى تغمض عينيك آخر مرة

سأُحبك

سأُحبك

حتى لو توقفت آلات الجحيم تلك

حيث ذلك المربع المليء بدقات القلب

يصبح خط مستقيم أو

إذا طلب مني أولئك الذين يساعدون الناس للرحيل

حتى لو انتحرت الشمس نفسها

سأُحبك

سأُحبك

سأُحبك من كل قلبي

سأُحبك

سأبقى أحبك

حتى لو لم تكن هنا معي

حتى عندما تكون الغرفة

مليئة بأشخاص يرتدون الأسود

سأُحبك

سأُحبك كل يوم

عندما تستيقظ وأنا لست هنا بجانبك

سأُحبك

سأُحبك

سأُحبك

You think you have survived

You think you have survived.
Then the feeling that you were not good enough
for that special person, eats you alive

Then you are defeated again, by the feelings
that your sacrifices were not appreciated, and
all the long distances you traveled were for
the sake of someone who did not take a single step for you،

You think you survived,
then the memory of being replaced beats you up
And that giving up on you was simpler than you expected،
You are the one who stuck to them and overlooked
their mistakes so,
that your relationship with them can continue

You think you have survived
Then an idea crushes you
You were putting someone you loved
in a special place, an exception for everyone
The focus of your universe!
While he considers you a transient person
who can be replaced and waived
At the earliest opportunity
sad isn't it?

You think you have survived
But you are defeated once more
by the idea that despite everyone around you
You don't have someone you can cry in front of,
That you support everyone, but
When it's your turn to tend, 
There is no one around you to lean on

You think you have survived
Then a conversation with an old friend finishes you off
Because you promised each other 
To walk together in hard and sweetness
And now we are like strangers 
Oh wait, strangers smile at each other sometimes
But we don't, we stopped! 

You think you have survived
And then you are defeated by the idea that
You don't have the luxury of
declaring your defeat from the world,
you don't have the luxury of crying or being sad،
Of even breaking down.

You think you have survived
Then all attempts to succeed kills you
Although you stayed up many nights 
and struggled to climb your dreams 
To reach your goals
but all you really received
were anxiety, stress, and depression 
And here you are at the starting point 
Raising your white flag and ready to give up

You think you have survived
Then all the situations that ate you
kills you all over again
From the blames for their mistakes
to beat you against the wall
Accusing you of what is not in you

You think you have survived
Then an idea defeats you
That everything was going the opposite of what you wanted,
although you did not fall short in anything

When your heart is heavy, read this

 I literary know what it's like to be emotionally exhausted especially when you try to explain it to people but fail How sometimes finding the perfect words for "I feel things differently, deeply and I feel too much" leaves me empty

It's like waking up so tired because I couldn't sleep at 3 in the morning, and how easily loneliness grew deeper in me.

Sometimes I sneak on everyone else, wondering " what am I doing wrong? Wondering why do I feel less than a person,

somehow wishing I would stop caring.

When your heart is heavy, read this

If you are the type of person who just loves so deeply (like me)

the one who gives away part of yourself

to make others feel something, feel whole again.

Who shows that being strong is very easy,

but barely figuring it out for yourself or

the one who weeps poetry and no one would even notice,

Who feels lonely in the middle of a wild concert,

the one who looks at couples holding hands and wondering

" Will it ever be my turn?"

So trust me,

I know how hard it is for you to feel heavy,

I am sure it's not you, it's only a phase,

you will get through it, and I will be here

So, I am writing this to you,

you are special, with all of your fears and faith,

with your tenderness and softness,

one day you will get what I am trying to stay

when I and you see the light and escape away

But until then, keep trying, and keep holding onto that

a little bit of faith of yours, keep being yourself the unique creep. Don't change like me,

I grew up heartless with no passion for life or love.

Let all the emotions breathe your soul,

make a difference.

be the change that you want to see

Be that someone who is rare,

be that someone,

when people look at you, say " Finally"

Someone with feelings.

Be someone like I used to be.

Don't change.

Don't become someone else.

Be yourself

Sincerely,

The older me

البدايات للكل ، والثبات للصادقين.

 البدايات للكل ، والثبات للصادقين.

العام الماضي لم يكن الأفضل

ولكن على الأقل قابلتك فيه

وفى عامى الجديد لا أتمنى شيئا سواك

لأن كل الأشياء الجميلة تكتمل بك وحدك

فأنت منزل يعم بالراحة و الأطمئنان

و يُمكنك أن تأتي إلي دائماً فأنا ايضا منزلك

سأكون الأمان الذي لن يتخلى عنك يوما

هل تعلم انني كُنت أتجنب كثافة العالم لأحظى بإزدحامك

لأن النظر إليك طمأنينة بحد ذاتها

فانت عزلتي واستغنائي عن العالم

‏و منذ أول يوم إلتقيتْك لم يعد قلبَي لي أبداً

كل جزء منك عالم و ستظل انت شخصي المفضل الى الأبد

فأنت الكل بالكل ولا حدا قبلك ولا بعدك.

أنت و لا أعرف أمنيات أخرى

ومهما كثرت أشيائي الجميلة انت أجملها

هل تعلم أن حبك يحييّ كل شي بداخلي كطفلٌ صغير

و في كل مرة تأتي نحوي للنصائح

اتعثر بطيبة قلبك الزائدة

فأنا محظُوظة بك للحد الذِي يجعلني لا أتمنى شيء بعدك

و الوقوع في حُب شخص حنون نجـاة

وانت من انقذتني من هذه الحياة

انت من جعلت هذه الليالي آمنة كما انني اميل لك

لأك تعطي ادق التفاصيل اهتمام و هذا ما احبه بك

و مع كل الذي اتى من الحزن و الألم مكانتك في قلبي لن تموت

فأنت ستبقي ضلوعي و وضربات قلبي.

‏فإما أنْ انطفئ لك وحدك ، أو نُضيء معاً

وفي الشّدائد تُمتحن معادن المُحبّين و انت نجحت في كل مرة

ارجوك كن على يقين إنك بقلبي أعمق ممِا أقول وأكتُب

فأنت حقيقتي الوحيدة وسط اشيائي الكاذبة

ومهما حالت المسافات ستبقى روحك معي

و ملامحك البارزة مرسومة على وجهي

فأنت جميع الأنتصارات الخالدة

ولأكن صادقة اكثر معك الأمر تخطى كونه حُب انتِ جزء مني

سبحان من وضعك بقلبي بهذه القـوة

في عينيك سلام وألف مٌوسيقى مليئة بالحياة

فأنا اخترتك انت. اخترت قلبا لا كلام

هناك سبعة مليار إبتسامه لكن إبتسامتك هى مفضلتى

كفيني من نعيم الدُنيا انك معي فأنت قوتي و بك افتخر

فأنت الوحيد الذي استطعت احتلال جميع حواسي

الوحيد الذي دفعني نحو حبي للحياة و التفائل بها

لذا تعال اليوم لنتقاسم النجوم

هيا أفسح لى ضلعيك أود الخلود في موطني الان

صوتكَ يُنسيني همٓوميِ واحزانيِ

‏لنمضي معًا حتى بالجنّة لأن وجودكِ يجعل كل شيء بخير

شبهت وجودك بعالمى وغيابك بروحى وعند ذهابك ذهبت روحي

أوهمتك بأني لا أهتم وأنا أحفظ أدق تفاصيلك

حتي ولو كنت انت بعيد فـَأنت بَعيد بالمسافـة ليس بالحُب

ويَكفينِي منْ هذا العُمر أنكَ مررتَ فِي عُمري

فأنا حقا محظوظة بالتقائي بك و لا اجد الامان الا بين يديك

حرفياً ، بغيابك كل شيء ناقص

إلى أين ومتى؟!

إليّك دائماً وللابد ولو بعد مائة عام

"Its 3 AM and its the only time you text me"

 "Its 3 AM and its the only time you text me"

Its 3 AM, and its the only time he remember me

My phone dances waking up my body to solo

I curse on myself, for not having it on flight mood

The way my mobile dances, I know it him

My fingers and I are not that friends, so whenever

He text, my friends betray me as always to answer

Its 3 AM, and its the only time he text

I keep myself sleeping all the night

Roaming around the memories that I want to repeat in

Laying in my sofa, waiting for a nonsense text

Just to complete a pleasure on having someone

attention is all I ever needed,

Though on mid days, I lie to the true me, on

how moving on and being independent is all I want

But lets face it, we all do that

Its 3 AM, and its the only time he remember me

He reaches out for me, when he is too wasted

or lonesome, I convince myself maybe

after all, I must mean something to him

But my veins appear to be bold like a tattoo on

my skin to remind me, on things he used to do

I allowed my ears to repeat his words to me

" I am not ready" he said

Its 3 AM and its the only time he text

He made me become his emotional pillow

Like a placeholder temptation

But I no longer want that,

I dont need a pity pale faces

or any of his another excuses

I no longer want to be his lighthouse

So next time when he remember me

At 3 AM

I will demand my body not to awake

While I dance on the shivers of the night

Its 3 AM

and my body moves to the table

reaching to my phone

writing down the pin code

opening the message

read it and

it says " I miss you,

hope you are watching over me,

I know you wont receive this, but just

in case you are up there, you might read it

it might make you smile,

I miss you,

I hope you are in heaven"

Its 3 AM

Its the only time he remember me

i and 3 other

#Newpoem #LinesByS

 In a temporary world,

we are never meant to find

a permanent home.

Other people were never

supposed to love you

into a sense of security.

The truth is that you have come

to establish a home for yourself

within your own heart.

You have come to discover

not that you don't require connection,

but that nothing else is possible

unless you are connected to yourself.

You have come to discover

the confidence to build your own life,

not to bury yourself in someone else's.

You are your own

personal space.

You are the one

you have been looking for.

You are your life's love and

the protagonist of this tale.

Peace can be found in your chest.

Love is found in your heart.

Inspiration can be found in your mind.

People who accompany you on your path

should never be taken for granted, and they

should never be used for

your own emotional work.

Because the truth is that

no one else's responsibility

it is to make us feel safe,

that everything is in order.

You will never be at peace

with the world until you are

at peace with yourself.

This is because you will be always

expecting things to be different than they are,

constantly expecting people

to live up to your expectations,

and continuously weaving

around your anxieties.

Instead, you must understand that home

is a state of being rather than a notion or a location.

It's a way of approaching life and

making it your own.

It's a method of finding solace in the outlines

of who you are now,

rather than who you might

become in the future.

It's the way you look

for presence in everything,

realizing that nothing

is supposed to be flawless,

but that everything is a new experience

you have never had before

and may never have again.

We have come to recognize

that we are the source

of our own existence,

of everything we make,

of everything we are.

We are our home