This when I unlove you

If you are worrying about me still loving you, then dont!
I will give my brain an order,
Where I un love you, simply I will un love you
When my tears start to dry up, when I stop listening to chasing cars
I will un love you as soon my nightmares leave my sorrow
When I stop looking at your photographs, when I erase your number
When my body start to be strong again, and leave you
When I would be happy till the next day come and when the rain start to plummet
When my chest stop feeling ache, when my soul gets tired,
When I longer wait for you to call at 3 in the morning,
When my poetry demand a full stop,
I will un love you as soon as acceptance comes,
When the sun meets mars, When winter ask Summer
When I fall asleep without pain killer,
When I feel enough and happy, when I am not silly or dull
When I bury the love I have for you, like it was nothing
Like we were strangers,
When I stopped telling my friends about you,
Or the places we have been too,
When I stopped checking my phone every minute
When taking a shower, wont be bothered by me thinking of you
I will un love you when I am strong enough
When I move on to another dimension
When I wear white and leave
When I am gone
When I am no longer a liar
When I am no longer hurting
Thats when I will un love you

I have loved you

I have loved you between the lines
Between the gap letters,
Between silence
and measure
I have loved you between our fights
Between the waiting
Between words
and lovers
I have loved you between the lights
Between the anger
Between jealousy
and stubborn
I have loved you between heartache
Between the tears
Between sadness
and hate
I have loved you with all of my sorrows
Between the hate speech
Between us
and you
I have loved you when I was lost
Between the help
Between phone calls
and memories
I have loved you when you were aching
Between the bruises
Between pain
and myself
I have loved you between you and me
Between the green lights
Between love
and yourself
I have loved you
 

You Have Lost me

I Bet your wondering,
Something is off
You are not quite sure,
What it is?
Or why it feels like something has changed
I am different
I am not the same fun girl
You fell for,
I am not a rainbow that brighten
On your darkest days
I have became more reserved
And guess what
I am not even offering you an explanation
I still touch you, but
I  no long feel you
I look at your skin,
but I no longer see you,
We talk for hours,
But I no longer communicate with you,
I could be with you physically,
But mentally, I am gone with the wind
You have lost me,
Yes, it ended when you weren't looking
It ended when the minutes to respond to your text
turned into careless hours,
When I stopped initiating the conversation with you
When enjoying each other company
Turned into awkward silence
You have lost me,
Yes, you would ask me about my day,
Pretend to hear me, but stopped listening
Everything about that became normal to me,
You told me you loved me,
But soon enough, you have stopped showing it
 You were careless with my love,
My worth, time and worst of all,
My heart grew tired of this,
You have lost me,
Left me starving emotionally
You even forgot that I existed in the first place
You have forgot to love me, even
When you are tired,
When you have a bad day
Or when your angry
You forgot to love me,
When I am too difficult to be loved
That's how you lost me

Maybe, One day

Maybe
We will meet again
One day
When you are not broken
and, I am not so jealous
Maybe
One day
We will be right
For each other, and
It wont be so hard for you
To love me,
I really hope, that one day
We will reconnect, because
No one has ever, caught my heart
In quite the same way
But that day,
Isn't today.
Today, you are too broken
and I am too pushy.
Today, we dont quite work out
and as much as I care for you,
I cant keep, pretending that we do
So,
I am saying goodbye, but
Maybe,
One day,
I wont have to

Wish I

I don't want to tell him,
Don't want him to know, 
My love for he, 
Can't seem to go. 
Want to be with he, 
And, I know I shouldn't, 
How I long for his kiss,
So do his touch. 
Still feels his love, 
Through his eyes.
But afraid to all, 
To be replaced, 
As I lay awake, 
In my dreams, 
See his face, 
As it steal away, 
My breathe! And 
I Don't have the strength, 
It hurt to be too far,
How everything,
Everything! Reminds me of he, 
In the blue skies.
Streets we walk by,
Expect for myself
That's why I weep,
Inside my broken heart,
Wish I didn't love he,
Wish I could die,
But till then
I shall remain silent
I shall be quite. 
Till the day, 
I commit suicide.

Write me down

Write me down on a piece of paper
Write it down
Allow yourself to write it
Write my soul down
When its uncomfortable,
When its acting dull and silly
Dont let myself, hold you back
Just pick a gun
and write, write me down
Write my life, my personal situations
Be completely vulnerable
Write it all down,
Dont leave my ache and my sorrows
Or any other parts

Now is the time,
Be a liar, create a masterpiece from me
I am the perfection of non- perfect
Look at my freckles, at my eyes
Write me down with raw
Write me down,
Dont crumple it up
Instead, light it on fire
Watch me, burn
Burn in the beauty of shame
and watch me gently with my voices
Telling you
" Oh darling, I am no good"
Make sure I burn in peace
In the fire, in the ice
I shall scream
Make me an illusion
Make me disappear
Then
Leave
Yes, leave. Move on
You have a choice
Leave

Being a person ( Like me)

Being a person who often cares way too much,
and feels that there is never enough
That I can ever give,
See, I have had my share of heartbreaks
Unfulfilled expectations as well

My Midnight mornings thoughts echoing
" Where did I ever go wrong"
" How can I be good enough"
But its empty as shades and when its 3 am
I would be in tears,
Till my mascara drops to my chin
and I would wonder,
" If I will ever find someone who will loves me back"
I end up listening to Patrick Watson
Till I would sleep the mornings away
I have learned to expect nothing in return
I look at myself fearlessly wearing your heart
On my sleeve,