It ( Slam Poetry)

It was waiting for me,
Around the corner,
When we first met,
Staring at my body,
Full of shivers and cold,
I dig, my nails into my skin
A distraction from the pain itself
But its more powerful,
than rocket ships,
Though my mind was clear, but
things changed, I thought
I  knew how to fight it back, but
I failed myself with high expectation
Instead the way it stared at me
Made me confused and lost

They told me " things will be alright"
They lied,
it was much stronger
than day light
It felt like I was alone,
Me, myself and I against it
It was all I could think of,
This feeling, losing my mind
stealing away my sleeping time
So slowly! I never noticed
How its heavier now,
this monster who lives in my head
Is now like water I cant live without
Very large and big, but cant be caught
since  psychiatrists said
Its not there, its not reality
But somehow lives in my head, and
The pressure is crushing at the back of my neck
I am its life force, without me it dies
It shorten my breaths and accelerate my heart
Its the only thing it want me, and
Its torturing me, there is no escape
It stares into the pit of my soul
and ignites my darkest fears, Suffocating
My will to fight, worst part!
This thing, knows me more than I know myself

Its feels like everyday
I am marching to death,
Who I live near by, I mean in
and now
I am just giving up my entire ideas and love to it
To be honest,
I am starting to feel like I am the only puppet
In his shows, I am his marionette
and I need to fight it back
I need to fight anxiety
I need to fight it back