Who am I?

You might not understand it,
and just ask why, but
All I want to do
Is lay here and die,
I tried to seek for help,
Maybe see the light,
But,
No matter what I do,
I always lose the fight,
It was more
 than it seemed
Or ever been heard,
Through the sadness,
You only caught
I the madness,,
I have done many wrong things,
Hoping it might let me go,
And now,
I close my eyes,
Afraid to fall again,
or
Handle the inner truth
But! I have let the strengths
Beneath me, to pull
My strings out
To shout it
I have pushed myself
To the limit
Of hope, dignity and success
The line, I was afraid
To cut, even more
Be judged
I was blind,
Not to see the good,
When it was here
Right in front of me
I did it!
Talked to my voice
SHUT UP! I said
I can do what I want,
In any time I wish
Nothing can stop me,
Even the devil
Owns sins to forgive,
God created me to look,
For the magic
The beauty of me,
I can be the change,
The way I imagine
It shall be,
Forever with no thee
I shall be the soul
Of who am I
When I look back,
I am who I am
With no racism's
Just happiness
And prayed to God
I shall be honored
To allow my soul
The spirit I have found,
With love
Passion and faith
To more
Pretend
I am who I am today,
Nothing else
Would ever claim
To be wrong,

Havent love myself enough
to let you fall in
Am I a sinner?
Differently not a saint, 
Both cases, who am I?
To pretend, its okay.
Angels are from dust, 
Humans are crushed, 
In the other stories, 
I might be a hero,
But thought 
I feel like a zero
Who am I to pretend?
In the eyes of thee, 
I could be heaven, 
Perfection of  the infection, 
And in my inner skin, 
Maps to many hold sins, 
Who am I?
A name on a card
Maybe in myths perhaps,
And when I look
Deeply in the mirror
Who am I? I asked
Maybe nothing. 
Or might be everything
Wish upon a cry
Tears are diamond
But full of emotions
Didn't love myself enough
To let you fall in,
How can I blame you?
When I didn't love myself
Enough to let you in

Wish I

I don't want to tell him,

Dont want him to know, 

My love for he, 

Can't seem to go. 

Want to be with he, 

And, I know I shouldn't, 

How I long for his kiss,

So do his touch. 

Still feels his love, 

Through his eyes.

But afraid to all, 

To be replaced, 

As I lay awake, 

In my dreams, 

See his face, 

As it steal away, 

My breathe! And 

I Dont have the strength, 

It hurt to be too far,

How everything,

Everything! Reminds me of he, 

In the blue skies.

Streets we walk by,

Expect for myself

That's why I weep,

Inside my broken heart,

Wish I didnt love he,

Wish I could die,

But till then

I shall remain silent

I shall be quite. 

Till the day, 

I commit suicide

Depression, what is it?

#NewPiece Check it out!
I found out where depression lives, and ever since
We started to visit each other on daily bases
We became soulmates, we fed each other
Cookies, butterflies and sins less
Depression, is a sugary non end happiness

I found out where depression hides, and ever since
We became one, it comes to me whenever I am low!
Just like music and poems
We chill under the rage of skies and celebrate
the ignites of the light

I found out where depression showers,
Within the tears that streams down on my chin
Scrubbing at the back of my neck
Erasing anxiety scars that lives in my skin beautifully
Reaching my will, and suffocating it perfectly

I found out where depression is now
not under my bed. But in myself,
Reading me a book, No.
He is not trapping me in the room,
He is making me relent to the world
He loves my beauty, the inner bend

I found out where depression sings,
In the corner box, tapping on my neck
In my ached body bruises.

I found out where depression eats
Whenever I sip too many coffee
it whispers to my eyes 3 in the morning
It eats while I sculpture a master piece
with my favorite razor on, shining glittering

I found out where depression lives
In my excuses, love and memories
on the medication that follows a heart beat
with the silent of me being awake and asleep
in my tears that hit the floor and weep
It lives in me,

Depression is me,
I am happy, I am depression

I dont need you at all,

I used to think that I need you,
that I could not possibly live without you
I thought I am going to be empty, sad and in misery
But till I figured needing you was just a leap of emptyiness
Whenever a part of me decide to remember you,
another piece pinch me of a memory
The time you sucked away my energy and picked up a fight
Over my writings, sadness and depression
For a while you made me think, you were right and I was wrong
You made me thing that your hugs and love are irreplaceable
But now, I finally figured it out
You are gone, I wake up in bed alone, but not lonely
I drink my coffee bitter sweet the way I used to drink it
without seeing your smile or listening to your healthy tips
On the way I eat my turkey cheese sandwich
I dont need your toxic remarks, or your sarcasm
I dont need you at all
You are nothing to me,
By Sally Bani Hani

No title yet

I am not trying to suffocate you
When I ask you, where you were
Or, who you spent your weekend with
I am only trying to protect my heart
If you were with another girl, I want to know
So I can easily detach myself from you
I do understand how relationships works
But, I am impatient, I want to skip passed
small talks and coffee, to kissing you
I want something deeper, more meaningful
Even, if we are not officially "dating"
But it feels like we are,
There is always thing thing, about your eyes
I wear my heart on my sleeves, during texting
You might think I talk too much, or how easily I am opened
It might scare you off, but its normal
the kind of normal that is too weird for you,
I know, I should play it cool, wait for you to text first
or call me via Skype, but I want to talk to you
My impatiences takes control, I might tell the world about you
My feelings slip from my lips with ease,
If you are in love with another girl, I wont be sad
Its not like, I am highly destructive, or depressed
I am only powerless to my feelings, its just the way I am wired
By Sally Bani Hani

I dont want Nobody

I don’t want someone,
To fall in love with my smile,
Instead! I want someone 
to fall in love with my tears
someone to understand my pain,
And someone to understand each smile,
I don’t want someone, 
To fall in love with my laugh,
I want someone,
To fall in love with my silence
With the thoughts
That haunt me alone at night
When the world gets quiet
See,
I don’t want someone,
To fall in love with my face,
I want someone,
To fall in love with my eyes,
See, 
How deep they are and learn
Their secret language