أغمض عينيك

أغمض عينيك 
شهيق زفير
خد وقتك
تذكر الأوقات الجيدة
الصباحات السعيدة 
الليالي البسطية المتهورة 
الإرهاق الطيف
قلبك سيرتعش الان
توقف ولا تدعه 
اهمس له و تنفس ببطء
تنفس ببطء
لا تقلق أرجوك
الأوقات الجيدة كانت حقيقية 
إنها هنا تحيط بك 
أغمض عيناك 
لقد كنا هناك من قبل 
في تلك الحظة ذاتها 
أنت وأنا ، نعم نحن كنا
أتذكرهذا؟ أتذكر ذلك؟ 
هل تذكر عندما قفزت من الطائرة
اعتقدت بأنك لن تهبط و عم الخوف بين جسدك
لكنك هنا الان صحيح؟
أتذكر هذا؟ في اليوم الذي أمطرت فيه هذه ؟ 
أتذكر أول يوم في الربيع
عندم قررنا الأستسلام سويا
في زرع منحوتات فنية على أجسادنا
ولكننا قاومنا ومضينا في بكاء شديد للتوبة
هل تتذكر عندما جلسنا وحملنا أحلامنا في عناقنا؟
لا تفتح عينيك
افتح عينيك عندما تتذكر الفرح و الشمس. 
تذكر هذا جيدة 
الأوقات الجيدة ستأتي مرة أخرى 
سيأتون إلينا مجددا 
سيأتون إلينا 
سيأتون

أنا أعيش في معركة مستمرة، مع القلق

أنا أعيش في معركة مستمرة، مع القلق
هذا لا يعني أنني ضعيفة
هنالك أيام لا أستطيع حتى الخروج من السرير
لكني أجبر نفسي
فأفضل جزء من وجود القلق معي
في الحفلات عندما يعتقد الناس أنني ارقص
ولكنني أرتجف فقط
اعاني من القلق ولكنني بخير
الأشياء البسيطة تشتتني بسهولة,
مثل طريقة الناس عندما ينظرون
إلي في كل مرة أتلعثم
اعاني من القلق
ولكني أتكيف معه
احاول احيانا ان أخرج نفسي
من منطقة الراحة من وقت لآخر،
لكنه صعب!
لأكون صادقا,
انا احب قلقي لأنه التذكير الوحيد
لتدفعني لأكون شخص رائع
اعاني من القلق ولكنني احبه
إنه الشيء الوحيد الذي يجعلني حيا

How much do I have to eat?

How much do I have to eat?
Before the pain goes away?
Will I have to break Into more pieces?
Perhaps you would see,
How many tears do I have to cry?
Before you see my name,
On the small screen
And I am trying to love you,
But why won’t you let me?
Is it something I have said?
Maybe or pretend,
And! What truly hurts?
How you think, this is easy,
Easy watching you loving
Someone else,
How wonderful my heart cracks,
Without any noise!
It feels the bitter, and the intense,
And I wanted to fight for us,
With all my heart,
But I realized,
When it was too little late
I was fighting alone.
As I taste the unrequited love,
Of loneliness, mad and shivery
And after all, we have been through,
You said “I don’t care"
As I still lay awake,
In my bedroom, staring
At the story that has ended
Rewriting all the memories
And erasing the good ones,
Perhaps I would forget,
But till then, I hold my pen
Listen to your song
And just sit and pretend

لقد أحببتك

لقد أحببتك بين السطور
بين فجوة الحروف
بين الصمت والقياس 
لقد أحببتك بين قتالاتنا
بين الانتظار وبين الكلمات والعشاق
لقد أحببتك بين الأضواء
بين الغضب وبين الغيرة والعناد
لقد أحببتك بين وجع القلب
بين الدموع وبين الحزن والكراهية
لقد أحببتك بكل أحزاني
لقد أحببتك عندما كنت ضائعا
بين المساعدة وبين المكالمات الهاتفية
والذكريات
لقد أحببتك عندما كنت تتألم
بين الكدمات وبين الألم ونفسي
لقد أحببتك بيني وبينك
بين الأضواء الخضراء
بين الحب
ونفسك
لقد أحببتك

The first time I saw you

The first time I saw you,
You asked me a tricky question
" Who are you?"
I lied and told you the basics but
What you don't know that I am a mix
a mixture of different ages,
I have a very complex multi personalities
I don't even know what my mood is going to be
after 10 minutes, so don't ask me
I am not sad nor happy
I am at the hardest stage.
I never feel anything, and I am barely feeling
And I have no power to speak,
Trust me,  if there was anything quieter than silence, I would.
The second time I saw you,
You asked me this
" How are you surviving?"
I answered you with I slept
I slept a lot until I realized this
My weight on you, and therefore
I spared you, my talks, and my interests.
I am so tired, and I honestly thought
that I needed to sleep only, but it's more than that.
it's been too long that I feel my heart
will burst from sorrow any minute
I remember after a while of us meeting
Something has gone out of my heart
It will never be the same no matter how hard I try

I wish I hadnt answered the phone

I wish I hadn't answered the phone
Listening to the other person voice,
Stunned me with the news,
The last thing I expected was this
I remember feeling like my soul slowly
left every part of my body painfully
Hello! Are you there?
Physically I am, but my voice is no longer existing
It refuses to speak, I am here
People wearing black, no makeup at all
"It happens all the time, it's the circle of life"
No, it's not! This is now how it suppose to be
The first raw months, I stumble
My lungs are refusing to be filled up with air
As I listen to people fill my ears with meaningful words
" Be strong, they are in a better place now"
But my bittering lips are being crushed,
I haven't had a sip of water, How could God allow this?
But every time I remember you,
my hands slowly touch my chest like I am shaking your hands
I wish I hadn't read the newspaper
Your name is all over it, you were only 16!
I am barely sleeping, looking at my screen
Knowing its one of your pranks, waiting for your call
How can God allow this? This isn't fair!
Your parents asked me to go to a grief group
But I don't want to, going means admitting your gone and you are not gone yet, you are not gone
It's been 40 days and you are missing
Your phone is disconnected,
and you are not online on MSN
Your family are having dinner, moving on
I haven't sent any flowers yet, to your new home
I wish I hadn't checked your profile on Facebook
Its full of memories, pictures and rest your soul words
I didn't even dare to write any, I chose to read quietly
Every time my phone rings, I assume it's you
It's been 3548 days since the last time I saw you
I still believe you would call me,

Adore me

Adore me, do not send me lost signals, 

tell me about yourself

Louder,
Please raise your voice, 

do not hold your emotions, 

let you pour out

Use your words. 

Raise your voice. 

I want your eyes to look straight into mine

to see your vulnerable side. 

please.

Don't let me chase you, be too much, 

you either be in and just out

A little respect is not too much to ask for,

 I want all-inclusive love. 

An unmistakable love.

I don’t want you to play it cool. 

I want you to adore me

I want you to adore me
deeply, simply and happily 

Reach out to me and touch my hands
Take a deep breath
Inhale and exhale it brightly
Adore me, please 

With no flowers or #RelationshipGoals
I want you to want me fiercely