I wish I hadnt answered the phone

I wish I hadn't answered the phone
Listening to the other person voice,
Stunned me with the news,
The last thing I expected was this
I remember feeling like my soul slowly
left every part of my body painfully
Hello! Are you there?
Physically I am, but my voice is no longer existing
It refuses to speak, I am here
People wearing black, no makeup at all
"It happens all the time, it's the circle of life"
No, it's not! This is now how it suppose to be
The first raw months, I stumble
My lungs are refusing to be filled up with air
As I listen to people fill my ears with meaningful words
" Be strong, they are in a better place now"
But my bittering lips are being crushed,
I haven't had a sip of water, How could God allow this?
But every time I remember you,
my hands slowly touch my chest like I am shaking your hands
I wish I hadn't read the newspaper
Your name is all over it, you were only 16!
I am barely sleeping, looking at my screen
Knowing its one of your pranks, waiting for your call
How can God allow this? This isn't fair!
Your parents asked me to go to a grief group
But I don't want to, going means admitting your gone and you are not gone yet, you are not gone
It's been 40 days and you are missing
Your phone is disconnected,
and you are not online on MSN
Your family are having dinner, moving on
I haven't sent any flowers yet, to your new home
I wish I hadn't checked your profile on Facebook
Its full of memories, pictures and rest your soul words
I didn't even dare to write any, I chose to read quietly
Every time my phone rings, I assume it's you
It's been 3548 days since the last time I saw you
I still believe you would call me,