Depression

" Attention" Check out my new piece of poetry 
I have always managed to hide my destructive point of view with a smile. Friends never question things, once they see how fine I am doing, but that is the ugly truth, that I have learned to admit
My close friends never contested the times when I unexpectedly excused myself and secured my soul in the bathroom for at least 5 minutes until my anxiety strikes calmed down.
They never noticed that I stopped eating, or asked me what was wrong after I wiped tears away and told them it was "nothing"
Yes, I felt like I was all alone in my cruel reality, with no one but myself to count on.
heavy heartedness pushed everyone I cared about away, until it was just the two of us left. Dolor made me feel like I had no one left to count on, except for the faceless, black pit inside of me.
And for some reason, I embraced it. I let it take over me. Sometimes I even felt relieved that I had a companion. I have let it win, but
I let it win. I let it control me. Despondency never judged me. desolation never forgot about me like the others did. Depression knew the real me. and luckily we became friends.
It took me two years to realize that my friendship with sadness was toxic and thats when I tried to run away from it.
I have learned to let it go, I fought it until my last breathe,
I stopped pushing people away, but thats when I knew it was too late, and even new friendships that, I couldnt take
I kept blaming myself, for the way I look, there was these phases where I be proud of myself and where I would cry myself to bed,
Somehow, I convinced myself that I am over it, that Depression was an old friend of mine, thought it still haunt me down, but I have learned to fight it, I have learned to break free,
I have let myself down,
Sincerely,
Depression.