For the my young love, this is for you

On the 15th of August 2004, 
I saw you at the skate park,
were you and some friends
were bragging on how good you were.
I still remember the first time
you looked at me, 
My stomach twirled at me,
You used to follow me everywhere
trying to talk to me while
I was with my best friend,
You asked me " what is your name"
At ADNOC gas station near
family park, AbuDhabi
I used to come
every weekend to the park,
just so I can see you, back then
you were the reason of my happiness.
I introduced you to my best friend
and you did the opposite
and ever since
We were attachable, an infinite 
I still remember our first day,
you took my hand and
said how beautiful I looked,
but back then even butterflies
felt so shy instead of I
Your imperfections are my
true first young love.
I used to put your
song list on my CD player,
because I wanted to impress you
back then. 


On the 21th of July 2005,
It took you forever to say
“I love you”
and I couldn’t be any happier 
I felt the the definition of love
holding hands under the rain,
but it rarely did rain.
You used to wear braces,
just like I and
Every weekend
we used to decide on which colour
Do we pick, so we can match,
God! We were so innocent
I still have our love letters,
and your voice,
or the time where you
would come to my school
just to see me for a  minute,
cause you cant wait
for the weekend part
coming to my hood so you can see
how I looked in the morning before
going to educate myself.

On the 11th of November 2005,
When my parents decided
we should leave the country
and go far,
I thought of all the jokes and
just laid down,
I pretended that I was deaf ,
But I failed with high expectation, and
I grew myself with denials
" Its all a dream"
On the 2nd of Feb 2006, 
He asked me he could
 meet my parents
Maybe he can convince then,
So, months later after
packing the memories
I had at the small apartment
 in Iskteqalal street,
It was the day where
I was heading to hell!
At a young age, I was 15
The only time we ever communicated
was either MSN or IMVU
( naruto92@hotmail.com)
Trust me that address doesn’t work no more.

On the 12th of June 2006
The boxes in our house were gone,
You can hear a pin drop and
 I looked into my room,
Paint became bright white.
So empty and cruel,
My friends were down stairs,
I can see waterfalls streaming
 down their faces 
He was there standing on the stairs,
with my love letter as he kept it
safe and sound.
till the days have passed.
On the 20th of July 2006, 
The unpacking was done,
New word was added on the dictionary 
Running down to the first computer I had,
Installing MSN, so I can talk to him,
So I can embrace the missing part 
and we did, like we never left scene
We kept talking and nudging each other 

On 25th of Dec 2008It was my birthday,
and what have I received?
Is bullying from my classmates
Who would want a new kid?
But I would have no sadness,
I got my first young love by my side!
.
On the 17th of September 2009, 
Last week, he called and
said how much he misses me,
How he wanted to meet up fast,
But how so?
When we are 2,772.6 km
by an airplane.
So, yes we had our first ever fight,
kind a relationship type
But he never knew,
how much I long for us to meet
Dare each other,
who can skate faster
or jump higher?
It was my last year of education, 
Your phone was off,
why was your phone off?
I nudged you hundred of times,
but you were offline!
I called "3191979" million of seconds, 
I had my first exposure with ache back then

On 12th Nov 2009
I got a phone call from my best friend 
saying " He, wanted to surprise you"
But sometimes faith doesnt like us 
I could notice the shivers on her body
But I made myself clear,
that everything is fine
She said " Cars!
the 4 wheels object are so dangerous"
Why would anyone even drive them?
She said " I mean, its nice to have one,
but why? " Life is so much out there,
why would anyone want to do it"
So, I cried! I did but I didnt know why,
so I cried myself out 
She said " He couldnt make it"
The wheel flipped"
He didnt make it 

He didnt make it! He didnt make it
He didnt make it, he didnt make it

Ever since, something changed within me
Like my inner voice died, somehow 
Having a heartbreak on the age of 17
is more painful than anything on earth
He didnt make it! He didnt

Its been exactly 2920 days since the earth
Has lost one of her angels,
Its been 8 summers already! 
In the memory of young love,
It was the last car ride you took,
The one you wanted to surprise me
As a long distance relationship,
The last thing you said to me,
You loved me for the way I smiled,
And I blushed, but you didn’t see,

He didnt make it! He died
He didnt make it! He died

Letter 81

Letter 81
I wrote a thousand letters, confessing perhaps, things might be fixed
Letter 81 
I hang every piece in me on the walls of shame
like the taste of a razor on my skin
Very noticeable and pretty
I run away from reality, like teardrops dance
on my body beautifully
My body shows strength 
I don’t break in pieces, I am no agonize 
I am myself in misery
I am a push and pull theme
I let you in on the surface of my pale face
But I wouldn’t dare to let you 
in my unrealistic scenarios
that lives in my head 
So, you would never explode
with emotions that lives in me 
I personally adore parties
Its where I escape 
on songs that makes me shivers
I am the empower
the shooting my individuality part
My weakness are movies
They affect me 
like turning my soul
in wonders and collapse
I enjoy life 
on heartbroken souls
Breakups and losing 
I don’t dare to sleep
I don’t want to miss my body
dying on the surface with dolor
on the other side screaming for help
Letter 81
I am happy that way, I no longer 
dare to change myself